the+death+of+a+skitsefrenic+herlock+sholmes

Detective Herlock Sholmes was riding to work one day on his rainbow unicorn when a thought accured to him. "Am i a skitafrenic?" he mused,"For though i am rather dubious to the diseases existense at all, all 3 of my therapists say that it is so. My doctors say it too, but as i don't believe in doctors, that dosent matter."

Just then, a woman by the name of Lucifer ran in.

"Detective!",she exclaimed,"the cereal killer has done it again! Three unlucky charms, and one frosted flake! Frosted in blood now....."

"Stop lying!" screamed the insane sleuth," As you know full well that I don't believe in cereal boxes! All that i beleive in is microwaved cheese sandwiches, unicorns, leprecauns, a completly skewed and misplaced sense of justice that ends in the harm or death of several innocent people a week, and therapists."

As an answer to this, Lucifer put a cat in the microwave, set it for one minute, and disappeared in a blast of black and yellow smoke.

Herlock poured back into his work, working tediously for 5 minutes. But as he worked something was biting at the back of his head. Something was plucking at his tendons, ripping at his arteries, and he didnt think it was indigestion. something he felt that he just HAD to remember, but coul-"Oh yeah! My lunch!"

he pulled out his cheese sandwich and put it in the microwave. "Lets set it to one minute!" the psycosematic riddler shrieked,"yes,YES YES!!!!" Just then, he had a heart attack.

TO BE CONTINUED..... RIGHT NOW.

Herlock Sholmes awoke several hours later, his arms and legs chained !?to a bed.

"Where am I?!?" he screamed at the nurse.

"You are in a hospital!" replied custodian with a disterbingly fake looking smile.

"Inturupting is evil." a nurse said with murder in her eyes. The custodian slunck away.

"I don't believe in hospitals." scoffed herlock.Just then, a doctor came in.

"Hello," said the doctor,"I am Dr. Insane."

"What am I doing here?!?" yelled mr Sholmes unneccesarily, as he began to struggle against the chains that bound him to the bed.The Doctor held out his hand for Herlock to shake.

"oh, i see that you have discovered those." he said." we were testing them to see how they worked. can you get out?"

"First tell me what im doing here." herlock countered.

"This." and with that, dr. insane pulled out a chainsaw.

Herlock began to struggle against the chains in vaiin. then he tryed to bite off his arm. Dr.Insane put down his chainsaw.

"thanks for helping us work out the kinks in the chains." he said. ''we never thought of someone biting off there arms!! Now, about what you are doing here. you had a heart attack."

"What?"scremed herlock,"my heart attacked me?"

"yes, and would have killed you if we hadnt got it out in time"said the doctor,"we replaced it with half of a microwaved cheese sandwich."

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!" screamed herlock

"calm down"said doctor insane

"i will NOT calm down screamed herlock,"you ATE half of my sandwich!!!" you had better hope i dont die, or i will haunt you to your grave!!"

"Well, thets to bad, because you are gonna die in about 30 seconds" smiled the doc," a cheese sandwich cant replace a heart! did you really think i could perform heart surgery? im crazy!!!!!"

and with that, herlock sholmes died.